Jose, Roger Or Bill-Who Is The Best Fighter?

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Same BORING Story Our weather is not changing through the weekend. Sunday has a scant chance for an isolated t’storm but that isn’t much of a chance. Next week, the prospects for scattered or isolated stuff shows up but that’s about it. Bertha is still boring as it hangs around and tries to hold together. I wouldn’t be surprised to see it end up in Europe. There is a disturbance in the Western Caribbean that looks decent but will probably move into Central America. I think that is the one that some models try to bring out in the Bay of Campeche in some shadowy circulation but that’s about it. In other words, that’s boring too. The guy just off the South American coast still looks to have some potential if it would just nudge a bit farther north. It is very very tough for a storm to get any circulation when its that close to 10 degrees north. So, for the time being it too is boring.

When bored, do what the professionals do…turn to steroids. Yes indeed. On Today’s Steroid list is some new information on an old story. If you recall, when we last left Roger Clemens, he was suing his old trainer, Brian McNamee for inventing, at the risk of going to prison, a story that he (McNamee) gave Clemens steroids. Clemens never said why McNamee would risk going to jail for a lie. But there was a lot of things Clemens said that he “misremembered”. Roger and I were in high school at rival schools at the same time and at the University of Texas at the same time, but I don’t recall that word ever showing up in my curriculum. Clemens finally manned up and said the steroids were for his wife! Always good to find a skirt to hide behind. There was another person in this story by the name of Kirk Radomski who has been convicted of distributing steroids to professional athletes. Now we have the story( Newsday)that Radomski, a former clubhouse attendant for the New York Mets, found mailing slips for packages sent from him to Clemens. Of course there is no proof (NYTimes) as to what was in the packages. I mean a convicted steroids dealer who worked for the New York Mets with no connections with Clemens probably sent him a box of chocolates, right?

Any mention of steroids would be absent without mentioning Jose Canseco, who opened the whole can of worms when he wrote a book about the subject. Well, people forget it was really the late Ken Caminiti who in a Sports Illustrated interview said that 60 to 70 percent of the players in the league used performance enhancing drugs. Of course when the players union heard that, a couple of “representatives” from the union paid Caminiti a visit and he changed his story saying he may have been exaggerating. Well, Ken is dead now and he can’t say I told you so but we have Jose to do that instead. Canseco had a fling with Madonna and Jose also got divorced from his wife, among other things. Canseco was famous as a “bash brother” and then infamous as the pharmacist. Now, Jose is making accusations against his former friend Alex Rodriquez, who has been linked to Madonna and who is supposedly getting divorced. There seems to be a lethal combination here that might come to a boil at any moment. So, Jose decided to vent with a boxing match against former Philadelphia Eagle Vai Sikahema who was one of those little, tough as nails players who was fearless. I’d say that Canseco is about 70 pounds heavier and 6 inches taller. Here is the pre-fight smack talk followed by some highlights of the fight, which is just about the whole fight because it only lasted 97 seconds. Take a guess who hit the canvas.

Jose Canseco/Vai Sikahema Smacktalk on the couch

Canseco/Sikahema “war by the shore” video lowlights

So, Canseco fights for less time than it took him to strike out and Roger Clemens fights by blaming his wife and misremembering. Let’s look to a real fighter…North Dakota Governor William “Fightin’ Bill” Langer who On This Date in 1934 did his fighting like a real American. He declared independence! See, he was a hard charging Republican depression-era governor who liked to tell good stories with funny anecdotes. He had a way of not just inspiring loyalty, but also demanding it of the state employees. They were required to turn over a percentage of their pay checks to his political machine. There was a snag and that was part of their salaries came from the Federal Government. By 1934, the Executive Branch of the Federal Government was run by Democrat President Franklin D. Roosevelt who was partisan enough to change the name of the Hoover Dam to the Boulder Dam out of spite for Herbert Hoover. So, Fightin’ Bill was charged with conspiracy to defraud the United States. Langer was convicted but refused to resign his post, instead choosing to barricade himself in his office. He tossed a spittoon through a window, unilaterally declared that North Dakota was independent from the United States and declared martial law. He finally gave in when the state supreme court said he had no standing as governor and Lt. Governor Olson took over. Undeterred, he came back. He got his wife nominated for Governor against Democrat Tom Moodie. She lost but five days after Moodie took over, Langer played his last card. He made it known that Moodie had voted in another state less than five years prior, therefore making him ineligible for office! Moodie resigned and the Lt. Governor took over. North Dakota had four governors in 7 months.

History suggests that had Langer been involved in steroids, he would have blamed his wife instead of putting her in the fight, then he’d have divorced her, fallen on his face groveled at the feet of Madonna. The fight would have shrunk from Bill and this date in history would really be boring.


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